Rock My Soul 5-9

Hello readers, how are you?

I really mean to ask you all about yourselves at the beginning of my posts because as a socially awkward person, I simultaneously feel like I don’t talk but talk too much about myself. But it’s especially important to connect in stressful and uncertain times. So I hope that you’re all doing well!

Have I really not blogged in a month? Well, I had been kind of busy trying what I can in this presidential election that is bizarrely still happening. I did one thing and had a bunch to think about and consider… and now a pandemic! No time like a quarantine to change around my neglected blog, eh? I’ve relegated “Fashion” to a tag and upgraded “Mental Health” to a category. I feel like mental health can get lumped in with self-care meaning spa day, but after reading Rock My Soul, my focus will more holistic.

Ch. 5- Refusing to Be a Victim

No black person in the United States can have any measure of self-esteem if he or she has not cultivated the capacity to be a critical thinker, to live consciously.

To the chagrin of conservatives, this chapter isn’t about shirking racism, claiming that it’s over or doesn’t exist. While there is discourse about people embracing a victim mentality, personally, I’ve not really found that to be a big issue, but I am not black, it’s not my place, and maybe that’s an internal discussion.

There is emphasis on living “consciously,” which Nathaniel Branden calls “a tool of survival– the ability to be aware of the environment in some form, and to guide action accordingly.” hooks says that it’s needed as part of positive self-esteem and to eschew seeing oneself as powerless, “[black] people must willingly engage in a politics of self-reliance that upholds taking responsibility.”

(I put “black” in brackets because the author who is black is speaking to a black audience, and I do not want to make it seem like I’m speaking at/scolding them and that this can apply to anyone! Additionally, I’m not sure if she means that having a community eschew victimhood mentality would be more meaningful than a singular person)

Victimhood and responsibility seem like big words which can sound like the “bootstrap” ideology. However, I think that hooks means to not fall prey to notions that you can’t do anything to improve yourself or life even if that is living consciously and refusing white supremacist messaging on tv.

Ch. 6- Thinking Critically

This chapter does not provide a process to clarify hooks’s idea of thinking critically so much as discussing how damaging education systems can be on black students’ self-esteem. When is it especially racist, hooks calls it psychological terrorism. It is perhaps ironic because education with anti-biased settings is what is needed to create an environment that will foster self-love.

Ch. 7- Teaching Values

This chapter is about the importance of reading and an encouraging culture to develop critical consciousness. It may be the fault of those in power when institutions fail, but individuals or even communities can do what’s in their power for collective racial uplift and not just individual material gain. Even if one cannot read, hooks champions atmospheres in which even more social exchanges involved discussion regarding decolonization of our minds.

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Ch. 8- Spiritual Redemption

African-American slaves interpreted Christian scripture to their needs of human validation. God especially choosing the oppressed allowed them to accept reality but also devise spiritual practices expressing their humanity. hooks believes that modern established churches have abandoned spiritual needs for conservative conformism that creates hierarchies and therefore the valuation of some over others. Such stress has led to young (black) people abandoning the Church and unfortunately the communal nature of  spirituality and therefore liberation altogether.

It was incredible to read hooks’s critique of books marketed to black children because I often feel that I’m maarte with my Filipino Kids Books reviews. But if a supportive education leads to self-esteem and freedom, shouldn’t it be necessary especially for more children who are more vulnerable? hooks goes on to cite the lack of a space for critical review, and I was just like… !!! I couldn’t believe I was kind of on the same path as this legendary thinker. 😅😎

Be sure to check out the first part of these notes.
Stay safe!

❤

Rock My Soul 1-4

I can’t speak for all Filipinos as anyone of an identity shouldn’t be expected (in general it’s a good idea, but we really should start using the noggins more than eyes about what is good for people). I’ve European heritage, have lived only in the US. I hash together vlogs about Filipino kids books I wish I knew existed as kid. I wrestle with my experience of the only Filipinos I know seeming incredibly reactionary and in what/who their interests are tied.

It’s difficult to come from a background whose poverty is fetisized not only by external paternal forces but those in our own culture, our individual selves. Pageants over policy. It describes not only what garners the retweets but what’s considered “pride.” Stick a flag emoji in your handle and share a video of sob story answering trivia.

I’d heard of bell hook’s Rock My Soul: Black People & Self-Esteem, and my mind would come back to it when I’d see such kind of contradictions. How can there be so much of this excitement for a people yet unwillingness for the betterment for the lesser statused of them? I don’t mean to take a black woman’s work and just insert myself into it, but 1) I’d have no idea where to turn for any kind of Filipino work like this 2) While specifics may be for black people, others can probably relate to more general themes and probably should connect how they’re related 3) That’s kind of what I intend to do.

1: Healing Wounded Hearts

In the opening chapter, bell hooks introduces why it’s no wonder black people may have “wounded” self-worth. Slavery and segregation have imposed observable white supremacist violence, but because self-esteem or the wellbeing of peoples’ souls aren’t very valued, the psychological impact of things like beauty standards and more namely, integration have not been studied and discussed.

2: Lasting Trauma

Although science has been a tool of racism that can be suspicious, mental health must be a part of liberation. Everyday violence reenacts trauma and without proper strategies that include decolonized thinking, healing can’t take place. hooks also critiques conservative blame and denial of black pain by noting their failure to connect ongoing trauma (like PTSD) to certain behavior and a perpetuation of racism by judging black people more harshly for this.

3: Ending the Shame That Binds

The shame of this chapter is that being (physically) ugly in white supremacist patriarchy. Shame conditions to intimidate especially vulnerable lower-statused people. The author wonders if black employment gains have come at the cost of psychological ones. Colonized minds value the imitation of acting and looking white.

I hate to bring this up but seeing as how white people have no problem, I’m reminded of mail-order brides. I can’t say the degree to which it’s encouraged culturally, but just from existing in the US, when you look at who is famous, who is rewarded, who has resources, who receives justice (who is denied), who is fawned over for doing the which actions, whose actions are met which such unmatched animosity, it’s easy to imagine the need to keep women impoverished financially and psychologically to pimp out for cheap labor. And how is this working out? Are we still getting beaten, raped, and stuffed into the backs of freezers? It’s no wonder that men that buy women stand with macho politicians.

4: Living With Integrity

Integrity is defined by Stephen Carter and Nathaniel Branden as being able to tell right and wrong and acting on it. Unfortunately, we live in a world where it seems like greed and other unethical behavior is rewarded. So to exist or even succeed, people must assimilate to bad behavior. However, if one comes from decolonized background, the imbalance of behavior and values create crisis and hypocrisy which Branden says is self-invalidating. There’s no integrity without honesty; lying spreads to other areas of one’s life.

I know it’d be nice and clean to end at chapter five, but this is already 600 words, and I’d like to include thoughts from the preface where hooks wonders why she and her siblings, who were more economically and academically privileged than their parents, were more psychologically fragile. I totally relate seeing my mother and others uproot their lives across the world, yet I have severe anxiety. I can only attribute it to Mom and at least one other woman I’m thinking of grew up in environments where everyone is literally family. Obviously, family is not synonymous with support, so I wonder about how toxic behavior is dealt.

I probably could’ve written a lot more but I read and didn’t write and already started 3 other books on here and don’t want so many posts on one book, so perhaps in the future when I re-read!

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Filipino Kids Books 2

Hey hey readers, have you been working out?

I can’t believe I’m actually following up on a series. It’s true that I technically have an unboxing tag, but I don’t continuously subscribe to services, so it’s not that consistent. I also made a What I’m Reading series to have a collection of notes from other books I read, but those aren’t as easily read! 

Well, I was so excited when I thought of this idea that I sent out all the requests to the library and didn’t really realize that yeah, I’d get 12 books at the same time 😅 So hopefully, I’ll have a good few more posts, and I’m not jinxing it. I’ve also deiced that I might as well blog about these as well, or at least as I do with my other videos of being supplementary to this blog. ☺️

Abadeha: The Philippine Cinderella

The subtitle pretty much says it all of this Myrna J. de la Paz book. I don’t know if Abadeha is a common tale in the Philippines, but I like that it’s not exactly the same as Cinderella. There is actually a pre-colonial setting with datu and babaylan which I just happen to learn about! I absolutely love the illustrations of the dress of that time. This book is in English.

Lakas and the Manilatown Fish

This Anthony D. Robles book claims to be the first English-Tagalog story set in the U.S. It is about a boy that meets a talking fish that leads him across the historic Manilatown in San Francisco. Personally, it was more interesting to read the history note at the end about the 1977 International Hotel demonstration, but I can totally understand that may not be the story for kids. But I’m also not a fan of giving kids the impression that it’s funny to kiss strangers and take their clothes.

Additionally, there’s kind of a weird refrain, mostly used by the fish, of “Hoy, hoy, (hey hey) Pilipino boy!” IDK, maybe if you’re from a place with an actual Manilatown and people that have your back, greeting each other with your ethnicity might be cool beans. But I did not! And just feel like it’s not a stranger’s business. It’s one thing if you are someone looking for community– I am!!– but that is not the situation a lot of the time for people of color but another experience of a stranger projecting their ideas onto you. And depending on what they are, it can feel and be unsafe. I just want everyone to know that just so that they know they shouldn’t have to feel obligated to accept this.

An Eagle’s Feather

Now this is what I call a story! Apparently based on a story by the Philippine Eagle Foundation, Minfong Ho tells the tale of a Philippine Eagle named Kalayaan that gets shot and taken to a sanctuary by a little boy and his father. I liked it so much that I don’t even want to spoil it, but I will say that I was honestly crying??? It even has some facts about the Philippine Eagle and Philippine Eagle Foundation. The illustrations are very good as well.

tl;dr

Title	Abadeha	Lakas & the Manilatown Fish	An Eagle’s Feather
Author	Myrna J. de la Paz	Anthony D. Robles	Minfong Ho
Illustrator	Youshan Tang	Carl Angel	Frances Alvarez
Language	English	English & Tagalog	English
Level	3rd grade?	3rd grade?	grade 1-2
Recommended	Meh		😭 Yes

Check out my first installment featuring Masayang Magtanim!, Kayang-Kaya! and Hand Over Hand.

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New Series! Filipino Kids Books

Howdy folks, how are you?

I’m sure that somewhere among my Internet channels and platforms I mentioned that I’m going to be an aunt! Truthfully, it’s so weird that I get a title as if I had any input into the matter 😅 But since I am getting it, I’m going to utilize it! It takes a village, right? Not just to help out when a baby’s born but continuing raising them and protecting, not just from physical danger but other harm.

There is a lot of push nowadays for diverse books for good reason. I’d previously never read a book with a Filipino character in it. As a child, I was desperate for this and didn’t even realize it. Maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference in something like a counting book, but as I began to read on my own, one does book reports, school projects that touch upon identity. One begins the search for the people with whom they choose to surround themselves, feel safe with and develop their worldview.

This is why I’ve decided to seek out Filipino kids books to send the new family. I don’t think that “representation” is a complete solution, so I’m not just sending whatever I find straight to them. I’m going to try to get whatever I can through my local (and not-so-local) library and review them! And then send ones that I like if I can.

Masayang Magtanim! (Happy Planting!)

This is a very cute cardboard book by Gelai Manabat that really only has 4 pages with words. It is about what a small child needs to grow their mungo beans and is in Tagalog. The publisher is Adarna House which is in the Philippines so it may be difficult to find a copy outside. I couldn’t find one online, but my dad says searching for Adarna on eBay can help.

Kayang-kaya! (You Can Do It!)

This is another cardboard Adarna House book. It is by Alyssa Judith Reyes and about kids asking themselves if they can do various things and eventually confirming oo, kaya ko na! It even has a little shoelace on the back so readers can do one of the activities the kids do in the book. I’d actually like to get this book, but again it’s hard to acquire. Characters in both books are very light-skinned especially the dad in Kayang.

Hand Over Hand

When I had the idea for this series, I didn’t set any parameters which is how I ended up with this book by Alma Fullerton whom I don’t think is Filipino. It is about a little girl overcoming notions of what girls can/can’t do, in this case: fishing. I didn’t grow up in the Philippines, so I don’t know cultural specifics. My mom has told me her dad told her to behave in such a way, but I don’t know if there’d be such a reaction for fishing.

I’m just very defensive about a white Canadian veering into “Look how backward these little brown people are!” territory. Additionally, you end up with the little girl saying things like, “posh,” but at least the author uses “Lolo.” It almost ends up being kind of patronizing like: they literally call the girl a fisherwoman like it’s a good thing. Just say fisher!

TL;DR

Title	Masayang Magtanim!	Kayang-Kaya!	Hand Over Hand
Author	Gelai Manabat	Alyssa Judith Reyes	Alma Fullerton
Publisher	Adarna House	Ardana House	Second Story Press
Language	Tagalog	Tagalog	English
Level	pre-school	pre-school	grades 2-3
Recommended	if easily accessible	yes!	¯\_(ツ)_/¯

for the sake of me not knowing what real reading levels are, pre-school is about ages 0-5
grades 2-3 are about ages 7 – 10

Have you read any of these or have any suggestions?

❤

Women, Race, & Class 1

Hey hey readers, what are you reading?

I have to admit, I’m kind of tech snob. Not in a Apple superfan way, but that I was wary of e-readers, and I’ve no idea what I’d do with tablet or smart speaker. But Haymarket Books (which often offers great sales) was offering Remi Kanazi’s Before the Next Bomb Drops for free, so I decided to try to figure out how to use e-books. And now I’m downloading all of them! 

The first e-book I checked out from my library’s system is Angela Davis’s Women, Race, and Class. After realizing how devoid of diversity my bookshelf is, I was really excited to start reading work by feminists of color (even if yes, I am already in the middle of 13 other books 😅). Since it’s Black History Month, I thought I’d share some highlights of what I’ve read so far.

Chapter 1: The Legacy of Slavery: Standards for a New Womanhood

Black women were women indeed, but their experiences during slavery– hard work with their men, equality within the family, resistance, floggings and rape– had encouraged them to develop certain personality traits which set them apart from most white women.

Ironically, there was an equality for slave men and women as they were oppressed the same. Black women were not afforded the higher status that motherhood brought white women i.e., pregnant and new mother slaves still worked, were still whipped, still had to care children in the field. But because of this, the passive role expected of white women wasn’t applied to slave women. Eugene Genovese described slave families as “a closer approximation to sexual equality than possible for whites.” Consequently, Black women’s resistance matched that of men.

Chapter 2: The Anti-Slavery Movement & the Birth of Women’s Rights

This chapter was about white women that joined the abolitionist movement. Working women and middle-class housewives lost economic and social status from industrialization and may have noticed the similarities in subjugation. Women like sisters Angelina and Sarah Grimke challenged women to “join in on that struggle with the understanding that their own oppression was nurtured and perpetuated by the continued existence of the slave system.” As they organized, these women learned about those power structures, how to take action upon them, and how to challenge male supremacy from the abolitionist view which would assist in the fight for women’s liberation years later.

When heckled that male supremacy was a Christian value as Christ was a man, Sojourner Truth replied, “Where did Christ come from?”

Chapter 3: Class & Race in the Early Women’s Rights Campaign

Chapter 3 is about the failure of those women considered part of the Women’s Rights Movement to include working white women and all Black women, enslaved and free. While there was rightful concern about inequalities in institutions like marriage, in which men controlled women’s finances, there was a lack of associating the economic control recent European immigrant women faced in unsafe mills. The first women’s rights convention, held in Seneca Falls and organized by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, did not have a single Black woman in attendance.

This was unfortunate because it was not as if these women weren’t fighting for their rights as well. Mill women striked and Maria Stewart gave speeches years before Seneca Falls. There are a few quotes that come to mind that convey that if one party isn’t free, one’s self isn’t free. Davis uses an Angelina Grimke quote to condemn the solidarity deficiency: “While the South has waged this [Civil] war against human rights, the North has stood by holding the garments of those who were stoning liberty to death…”

Chapter 4: Racism in the Woman Suffrage Movement

As middle-class white women neglected building “an alliance embracing labor, Black people and women,” it’s not surprising that leaders for their suffrage possessed a biased analysis of the political moment. After the US Civil War, people like Elizabeth Cady Stanton viewed emancipation as total liberation and that Black people were then on the same level as she. Yet, she became so defensive about the proposed 15th Amendment– which would grant suffrage to Black men but not women– that she would align with anyone who supported her cause including staunch racists.

Frederick Douglas, who was not only an abolitionist but an ardent supporter of women’s rights (he was only Black person at the Seneca Falls Convention), argued that because of violent attacks on Black people, support of the 15th was a means of survival. He didn’t mean to say that women’s suffrage shouldn’t be supported; it seemed like he called the passage of the 15th a boost to energize the movement for women’s suffrage. 

Hopefully, I can complete this book in a more timely manner than the last one I started for my series! Check out my last read for Black History Month about a Black Panther photo book I won from Goodreads here!

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Book Club? with Blackwater

Hello readers, how are your sinuses?

Last year I bought myself Blackwater as a belated birthday present and have only recently gotten around to it. I love learning, but it takes me 100 years to read non-fiction. One reason is because I feel like I should record or memorize everything. That may be futile, but at least with a blog, I’ve a searchable way to revisit what I thought was important whether it be one post I got around to or something more regular.

The backdrop of Blackwater is the Nisour Square massacre— on September 16, 2007, the private military company opened machine gun fire on Iraqi civilians, killing 17 and wounding 20, including women and children. It was founded by Erik Prince, brother of current US Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos.

As with DeVos’s privatization, private companies don’t have to be held to the same standards which encourage shady, unethical, if not straight up bigoted practices. Nisour Square wasn’t a freak accident; Scahill asserts it was part of deadly four-year pattern that intensified in the year leading up to it with six lethal shootings. When Prince was summoned before Congress, Rep. Henry Waxman alleged that Blackwater was involved in 195 shootings from 2005 to that September 16th.

Conveniently, there is Order 17, issued by Ambassador Paul Bremer, which grants immunity to private contractors working for the US in Iraq. This prevents Iraq from charging them with anything unlike U.S. soldiers whom can be court-martialed.

There is more in the whole 30/500 pages I’ve read including the cost of Blackwater to taxpayers (>$1k/day) and allegations of their weapons ending up with designated terrorists. However, what had me have to put the book down and walk away for a while is the issue of paying the families of victims. In a case where a Blackwater operative drunkenly killed an Iraqi vice president’s bodyguard, an initial amount of $250,000 was suggested, but the State Department said this was too much and lead to people trying to get killed.

It and Blackwater agreed on $15,000 although Prince claims $20,000. In other cases, the State Department requested Blackwater pay a family $5,000 and in others, no offer was made at all.

Can you imagine? Twenty-thousand dollars for the murder of your loved one? Everything they are to you: a parent, a teacher, a friend, a carer… All of it is worth a minimum wage salary for one year. Five thousand? That is slightly more than my used car from Craigslist. It’s no wonder many families refuse the offer.

source: Salon

Hopefully bloggers who’ve been celebrating International Women’s Day and Women’s History Month recognize the effects of war on women and that it’s not a feminist stance. One of the other reasons why it takes me so long to read non-fiction is because it can be so depressing. But with Prince and DeVos recently in the news, I had to share the knowledge. Is that really a “club”? Ah well, I’m planning to also sharing bills to help combat such people, and if you want to start a blogger club around that area let! me! know!

❤

Power to the People

Happy Black History Month! I’m know I’m posting this on its last day and obviously we shouldn’t restrict educating ourselves and celebrating once a year, but I wanted to get this in because we have this designation. Sharing and learning the often overlooked and erased contributions of a people is the whole point of this month!

I won a giveaway from Goodreads a couple of months ago for Power to the People: The World of the Black Panthers. I wanted to read it because I didn’t know much about the Black Panthers but had heard they started the Free Breakfast for Children Program.

I’m no where near finished, so I can’t say, “Here are my favorite passages” or even that I 100% agree or will agree in the future with these messages but just wanted to share some interesting quotes so far.

“The NRA wanted us arrested for carrying guns back in those days.” – Bobby Seale, Founder

“… one time, I’m at a rally… Somebody whispers in my ear, ‘The guy in the Hawaiian shirt is some kind of agent… That reporter was telling me to tell you.’ I go on to speak for 10 minutes. I say, ‘… you with the Hawaiian shirt. Are you some kind of police provocateur?’… Somebody behind him pushed him… Then it dawned on me. I say, ‘Don’t touch him!’

The reporter– I found out later he was an FBI agent. Where did I see him next? It was months later, when I got arrested. I was in the car– who’s in the front passenger seat?” – Bobby Seale

“We don’t glorify violence. We don’t glorify weapons. We don’t glorify gun culture. But we do not believe in unconditional pacifism. We advocate our right to defend ourselves.” – Khalid Raheem

“Guns were important as symbols of defense and resistance… People of color are asked to endure. We are expected to be better people, and for the most part, we are. White people can be human. React as human, make human mistakes, and fight back as humans. Even as children, we must be the responsible, empathetic, and forgiving party.” – Gloria Abernethy

What have you learned this month? 🙂

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A crossing, a star

As an Asian-American, I feel like in terms of representation in books, my access has been limited to travel brochures, WWII, and arranged marriages. If it’s part of our culture, I get that it’s important not to forget history, but personally, it gets depressing after a while especially in fiction. We already have horrible real life, we can’t just be people in shit we make up!?

That’s why when I did do the occasional inquiry and found Andrew Xia Fukuda’s Crossing, my interest was peaked.

Look, I’m poor and like to get the most for my money. I don’t watch every trailer, and I skim summaries. Could that lead to getting into things I wouldn’t like? Sure, but I’d like to think that I could still objectively give credit where it’s due.

My takeaway from Crossing’s summary skim was that it’s winter, the narrator is a Chinese outcast, there are disappearances and possibly murders, and the outcast– being on the fringes of society and being able hear gossip and rumors undetected– tries to solve the crimes.

Do you know how awesome that would’ve been!? Like an Asian Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Unfortunately, protagonist Xing Xiu is a selfish loner with probable Nice Guy Syndrome. While I recognize that having less than reputable characters is itself part of representation, I’m having a challenging time reconciling characters who are people that are underrepresented but are terrible people. I feel like there’s almost an overcompensation to show these people who already had their spotlight stolen from them can be just as immoral as people about whom have always been written by having them be serial killers, etc.

That was just a personal concern. I understand that Xing can be self-absorbed. He’s a teenaged boy. His loses his father. He’s dealing with brutal racism, so I could even understand his picking on other kids as deflection, self-preservation.

However, Xing only has one friend at school, the only other non-white kid who is also Chinese, Naomi, and he also treats her like crap. They met in elementary school where Xing began to help her with school and English. Naomi surpasses Xing of which he often thinks about and how she is destined for Ivy League schools.

Yet, he insists: “she did not understand because, although Asian, she was a girl, and so did not have to live under the constant shadows of Fu Manchu, Seung-Hui Cho, and Long Duk Dong.” Does he really think she’d never hear Full Metal Jacket/”Me So Horny”? Does he think she’d never be called a geisha or called a “race traitor” by entitled males whose advocacy stops with whether white women will sleep with them? Also, the way Xing describes Naomi veers on fetishizing. After the preceding quote, I didn’t really care what happened to Xing.

So what happens to Xing? He ends up getting suspected of the murders, fleeing at first to find Naomi and tell her his side. There is a great line in this conversation in which Naomi says, “Xing, why do you hate yourself so much?” I really wish she’d let him have it though.

Due to a jumbled ending (including oddly-placed passages about Xing’s immigration), as a plot-driven story, Crossing is disappointing. It’s more interesting to view it through a character study lens that helps the reader get inside the mind of one particular teenaged boy who is also a Chinese immigrant probably in the lower-middle class. He constantly has his guard up and looking out for his own interests because nobody else is.

Because of my personal stake with Naomi, one interesting conversation I think that Crossing brings up is how communities of color treat their genders be it parents to children or among peers and how the genders think the others are treated.

Initially, I thought that was a big deal, but I think the main themes are of fear and paranoia, some witch-hunting, Crucible-type shit not only by the white majority but the fear of the outsider looking at them, obviously. Additionally, it shows the weight of racism and bullying, hatred, fear and paranoia as I believe that the reader is supposed to think that Xing is going to falsely confess. If you get treated like garbage enough, you might just believe it.

I had other issues with Crossing such as the average young adult writing, the diversity of the school (racially, maybe I’d believe but why would Xing and Naomi be going to school with rich kids?), the news reports and police behavior but may have overlooked them if the ending didn’t sound like something I wrote when I had to make a requirement.

If I were a teacher who had to cover themed blocks or segments and there were blocks for racism or McCarthyism and students could pick from a list of books to read for each theme, I’d include Crossing in those themes. However, I wouldn’t make the whole class read it, and for the love of God, don’t choose it for the one day you acknowledge Asians.