Hello besties, how are you doing?
Here I am again talking about work. I know that when I felt unable to do something there might be a little resentment toward someone that keeps talking about it– but you know, please don’t ever call such people jealous because there might be factors they just can’t control.
On the other hand, this is my blog where I express myself. Work– unfortunately, lol– takes up a good chunk of my time which for an obsessive brain, means it takes up thoughts, emotions, and maybe even physicality? (and so, more time)
For example, I couldn’t stop grappling with the following ideas, so I’m trying to get them out and ask for your thoughts in a post with stock photos rather than something fun with original pics.
There’s this kid at work. I call him a kid (in my brain) because even though we’re adults, I’m pretty sure he’s 10 years younger than me. This is younger than my brother! I actually interact with young people (this is the weirdest phrasing… “I interact with the humans”) in my movement organization, but even that is kind of like work. It’s definitely less formal than a job– we have each other’s numbers and some of us follow each other on social media. But it can be kind of weird to share real personal stuff or even the mundane memes that you share with your friends with org members. You are there to work toward a goal.
And even then, I definitely try to be aware of what is appropriate or not. Besides anxiety saying that everyone hates you, has their own life, etc., I wonder if that’s why I didn’t say much to this kid? I definitely try to be friendly, but is such an age gap appropriate? Are work friends in general appropriate? I’ve heard it’s best not to be friends with co-workers just in case something goes foul. I definitely wouldn’t mind having friends, but I’mma be real with you: look, I live in Florida. I don’t really want to be spending my free time with people that have certain viewpoints that make me feel unsafe.
I’m actually in a state because this co-worker leaving! I’m not bawling over someone to whom I barely spoke. But it’s like… change. You’re happy for someone for getting out of the stinkhole. I’m actually even a little proud of myself for just bringing up the subject because it was something I overheard rather than him telling me. And again, I’m uncomfortable asking people about themselves because I’m afraid I won’t know what’s too personal or what might be for them.
But here I am writing a whole post kind of about this co-worker. People don’t know what they mean unless you tell them, right? He was like the first person I met at my first job (is that a title I just made up? Lol), and it’s been nearly a year! So I felt I should say something. And I’m pleased I found of something that I thought was appropriate and wasn’t too much about me.
There’s also the change aspect. Who will replace him? What if they suck? And a kind of selfish aspect. As said, I spent a lot of time thinking about my end; they could totally think I’m an old wierdo. It also does kind of makes me feel like a loser (younger person getting out of the stinkhole that you’re still in). I can’t say that I my job is miserable, but it busts open the change aspect for yourself. If I get out of the stinkhole, what if the new place sucks too or is even worse?
So how do you navigate or cope with such feelings? Should I bother “missing” or just be happy for them and proud of me? Are you friend friends with your co-workers? Should I ask mine more about themselves?
Thanks for reading!