Of Dogs & Dongs

Party balloon

No update of late because I have been busy! As I’ve previously said, my brother is getting married, and my body was pushed into being a bridesmaid, so I attended– for the first time in life– a bachelorette party. I’ve also been watching my friend’s two dogs while she was out of the country. Have I mentioned I’ve never taken care of dogs before?

The party was pretty fun; I’m glad I was able to attend. I must say, it’s a little strange for a sibling presence, but I think the bride’s sister is the maid of honor, so I’m not the only one embarrassed when playing games that ask about the undergarments and sex lives of the couple!

I only drink once in a blue moon, so I was able to discern that I don’t think I’m a fan of mojitos? Although whenever I get my act together I may have to try every flavored vodka lol.

The closest thing I think I’ve ever done to taking care of a dog was walking my grandmother’s terrier when I was like eight. But to combat a preconceived notion that I’m some kind of homebody, I, perhaps unnecessarily, try to do things I’m not enthusiastic about but don’t particularly make me want to hurl. Hey, I shouldn’t have to prove anything to nobody! Why do I have to go to a club? Why can’t you go to a protest! Huh? Huh?????

I totally spaced on having to pick up after dogs, but fortunately that proved to be no big deal. Unfortunately, one of the pooches was a still house-training puppy, and I don’t speak dog! It was kind of hard for me to determine if she needed to pee or just wanted to eat grass.

Another thing I didn’t realize is how social they make you. When another dog is humping yours, it kind of forces small talk sometimes. Luckily, most people were nice, except one guy who was the one who brought up how underaged her girlfriend looked? And then then got defensive about it? Like: I understand social awkardity, but please calm your tits. And to justify it by exotifying your girlfriend as “just from the Philippines”? 😬 😬 😬 The privilege of thinking this is acceptable and appropriate small talk is overwhelming.

Anyway, I’m going to be sad for a while because my brother is also taking his cat. I know he’s been away from him and his fiancee two years, but it’s kind of hard not to be selfish when not only is your brother leaving but the best part of your day is being taken…

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